If there is a creator, he surely made this world too large.
This is inconvenient for us small, fearful humans.
For all the world's vastness, we can't measure the distance between ourselves.
There's six billion of us, yet still... everyone is all alone...
That's why we're all frantically searching.
For that one person we need no distance from.
A princess in clown's lipstick kisses you awake from your nap
You dreamers' tickets to your meeting are for a false VIP air force
I don't have time, what time is it? Class starts in five minutes
Don't rush, this is important, I meet you in five minutes
Venus is my neighbor, so why did it sneak up on me
Jesus is sitting right across from me, what do I do?
Here comes his attack, pretending he didn't hear my 'bye-bye'
He shows his shock, this is like a living hell
A wakeup kick for a greeting, my bare feet are always cut up
If you toss the chips in your hand at that girl, you may just sweep her off her feet in three winks
I don't hate you, I just don't like you, I don't know what I'm feeling
Don't wait, this is just a lull, I disappear with you in five minutes
Venus, she's always so lonely, don't look away
Jesus, if you're across from me, please listen
Episode 18 "Sister's Confessional"
I knew this as soon as I moved in under the bridge,
but when my lover Nino sleeps, she has a habit of sleepwalking to somewhere more comfy.
Here again?
Nino, that's my line...
On cold nights, she comes to my room a lot.
Would you like breakfast?
Nah, I'm going home and going back to bed.
Goodnight then!
Nino...
Th
at
Su
nd
ay
af
ter
Ma
ss
That Sunday after Mass
The confessional?
Sorry, there's something important I have to talk with you about.
Okay, I guess...
Confessional
He said to go in first and wait...
This is the first time I've ever been in a confession booth.
I'm coming in.
Confessional
Yo.
I've been waiting, neckturd.
Star!? What are you doing here!?
I had Sister ask you to show up.
I'm surprised you did, right after that .
What, are you implying that I did something?
Quit playing dumb.
I saw it all!
The morning before last! Nino left your room!
Yeah, so what? She does that a lot.
Hey.
Spending the night with a girl as incredibly cute as Nino...
And you say "Yeah, so what?"!?
There isn't a man alive who could let that go!
Wait, are you getting the wrong idea here?
Let me tell you one thing!
You can quit playing innocent.
Come on out!
The fearsome human lie detector,
Sister!
Quit doing that introduction.
Sister! What's this supposed to be?
Well, he needed someone who could see if you were telling the truth.
And I can't turn down someone who's crying.
I wasn't crying!
Anyway, this is all I need.
All right, Recruit.
Just how far have you gotten with Nino!? Spit it all out!
C'mon! Your lies won't get you anywhere!
Sister's the real deal! He'll see through any lie in a confessional!
That's impossible!
Prepare yourself, Ric! Here goes!
Have you ever... gone on a date with Nino?
Why are you starting that far out?
My heart is made of glass!
Even when you're in the pool, you shake the water off your legs for your own health!
Episode 19 "Manly Bonds"
So you don't want me to prove I can see through lies?
It's fine, I don't have any intention of lying.
Plus, if you insisted, I'm sure two plus two would be five...
If you say so.
Kind of like how you call yourself a sister rather than a brother.
Anyway, answer the first question, Ric!
Fine, fine, I get it.
Well, a date... To be honest, we...
Now that you mention it, we actually haven't.
Haven't?
It's true.
They've never gone on a date, and she's still shacking up with him!?
All right, then, how many times has she slept at your place!?
I've lost track.
That's...
True.
If it were me, I'd count every time. Every. Time.
I'd put a heart mark on my calendar and another in my notepad... And celebrate the anniversary... Every year...
Why don't you get back to your point, Star?
Well, then, doesn't staying over just count as a stay-home date?
Nope. We just sleep. As soon as we wake up, she goes home.
It's true.
You haven't even gone on a date?
And you're still taking her home?
Give me a break.
Nino isn't some toy for you to play with.
I'm more worried about your delusions...
More importantly, I didn't think you'd really cry. I know you're enough of a pain in the ass that you'll misinterpret anything,
but you really do get hung up on things.
Whatever.
What!? You bastard! You're terrible! Die in a fire!
I really haven't done anything with Nino!
Like I can believe that!
Sister! Am I lying?
Ric hasn't done anything, Star.
Does all of this make you feel better?
Really? Then, Recruit, you're--
Then...
What? Wow, is he going to apologize for once? I don't wanna be his best friend or anything,
but at least maybe we can make up...
Then you're...
So you're really...
A fag?
I know I hate your guts,
but you feel the same way about me, huh?
Yeah. We can throw down anytime.
Episode 20 "Ric's Determination"
Are you serious? You've got to be kidding me!
Oh, gosh, little old Star is sooo sorry.
I forgot you were such a useless fuck.
Yeah, I guess.
Put up with it, self. I know you can't take anymore, but try to bear it somehow.
Well, I should've known just looking at you how dateless you really are.
Have you ever even gotten chocolate on Valentine's Day from someone who wasn't related to you?
I bet you haven't!
Maybe I do still have a chance...
Where are you going, Star!?
Oh, just to ask Nino out on a date.
If no one else is gonna take her out on a date,
I guess I've gotta make her happy.
Hundreds.
If we're talking about how many Valentine's chocolates I get a year...
It's true.
What!? That's like something out of the comics!
Why wouldn't I?
I've got a chiseled body, a sharp mind, a pretty face, and an amazing future ahead of me.
If they're not fawning over me, who would they go for?
Thanks for your advice, Star, pal.
I'm gonna go ask Nino out on a date. It's my job, after all. Since I'm her lover.
Don't just mouth off to me like that!
Sorry, but she is my lover.
Bullshit, you're just friends!
Shut up!
Wow, I didn't think I'd get two cookies today.
Episode 21 "Invitation"
That star-head...
I'll make him regret provoking me.
A date?
Who does he think I am?
I'll show him what a perfect date is.
After all, I'm perfect!
Man, no matter what I wear, it looks good on me.
If I ask Nino on a date like this...
But then again, a date... My whole life I've been popular with girls, like someone out of a comic,
but I don't actually have any experience with them...
Going out is high-risk, no-return...
It's like a deal with the devil!
Valentine's Day every year is more torture than anything, too...
This is Kou!
RETURN
All female students, assemble in the gym!
RETURN
Returning each of hundreds of chocolates to their original owner was nearly impossible...
finally figured
it out
Our analysis indicates the handwriting on this one is that of Miss Ohba from class 2.
Excellent! You're promoted!
I wonder what those who didn't sign theirs were even thinking...
If I stay indebted to hundreds of women until White Day, the ulcers will kill me before the asthma does...
So I've never actually been on a date...
I'm No Angel!
Rose of Heracles
Well, I did my research yesterday night, so I should be fine.
Rose of Heracles
Let's do this!
There.
I wonder if that one will make it to the sea?
Hello, Nino.
The white roses which bloom in my heart...
are here to steal yours!
Sorry
Good luck next time.
That wasn't a joke!
Episode 22 "Plan"
If it wasn't a joke, then what was it?
Can't you see, Nino?
These roses, and my designer suit. They're all to get your attention.
Yes, today I came to ask you out on a date!
What's a date?
How unexpected!
Well, that is Nino. She's already putting cracks in my perfect plan!
Date, huh...
Sounds unlucky.
My plan won't be ruined by this!
Anyway, if you don't have anything else to say I'd like to get back to making grass ships.
Please, hold on...
Nino and I's
First Date
Project Plan
What's that?
I don't like spoiling my plans for the date, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made...
I'm sure she'll want to come once she hears the plan!
Let me explain the date!
First, we go for a drive over Rainbow Bridge my supercar.
OUR WORLD
Of course, it's specially closed-off just for us.
Afterwards we visit a top-tier restaurant in Roppongi,
PM's wife
PM
Maybe I should leave running Japan to you, Ichinomiya.
And dine with the prime minister.
If you hadn't have saved me from those villains...
Don't mention it, sir.
PM's wife
I feel like singing.
Sa-ku-ra... Not quite.
Nino, would you like to join in?
A top-notch orchestra and my engaging conversation as we enjoy our meal.
PM
After that,
a helicopter flight over Tokyo Bay.
This is what I wanted to give you to remember our first date by...
It's lovely...
Well, that's about what a date is.
How about it, Nino?
Yeah. Sounds fun.
She accepted...
She understands! I knew my skill in planning would come through!
II didn't think she'd look so happy, though!
I'll never forget this!
These hundred or so angry faces that star-head guy will make!
I managed to win the bread-eating race,
I got accepted into a top-tier college,
and even in love I'm an elite!
All right, Recruit.
Yeah! Let's get--
Tell me when you have more drawings to show off.
They're not just drawings...
Wait...
You're ditching me because you think I'm an idiot!?
Episode 23 "To the river mouth"
Wait, you're heading back too soon!
What, you've already finished the sequel?
You're wrong! This date thing I'm talking about is something we're supposed to actually do!
You and I? Doing that ?
Yeah!
It must have sounded like a dream,
but I can make it come true for you!
Will you come with me, Nino?
Why are you leaving!? Wait!
Don't tell me you don't want to!?
Well, doesn't it mean I have to leave the river?
Well, you do normally go other places on dates...
There's plenty of places I'd love to go, but gravity... Well, y'know.
Gravity? What?
Well, I'll think about it, but gravity and magnetism are pretty strong...
What? Why!?
Well, I am a Venusian.
Venus talk again? Why now!?
I thought lately we've been meshing a lot better...
Wait, if she's talking about Venus again...
Well, after all. You're from Earth, and I'm from Venus.
The mayor is a kappa. It's as plain a fact as that I'm a Venusian.
Doesn't she normally do that when she wants to say "no" to something?
So she really doesn't want to leave the riverbank at all, but she isn't going to say why...
Understood. Let's save that for later then.
You sure? You seemed pretty hyped about that plan.
Don't worry about it. If it doesn't make you happy, it's not perfect at all.
Instead... Why don't you tell me where you want to go?
We'll go there! I'll do my best to bring you anywhere you want!
Ric...
Well, how about Ve--
Let's keep it within the atmosphere.
Then how about the river mouth?
The river mouth?
I was sailing grass ships down the river earlier.
This river flows out to the sea, right? So the ships had to have made it there.
Why don't we go see?
Of course! Let's do it!
Even though we're going somewhere on the same riverbank, it seems like she's made an important decision.
Oh, right. Nino.
If you don't mind, before we go...
I was planning to have you wear this dress on our date. Why don't you try it on?
It's been twenty minutes. Does it really take that long to put on a dress?
Well, it is pretty complicated. It must be hard to put on alone.
Wait, can she even put it on herself?
Okay, I'm dressed.
Oh man.
Nino! Wai--
What?
Huh?
She's already perfect.
It made me wonder a bit about her past, whether she wore clothes like that a lot.
That day, on the playground
We laughed without a reason
On my journey to pick up the pieces of my love
For some reason I'm always so lonely
I've got to get going, before the sky falls
Everything's in reverse, and I'm searching for you
Even though we're never going to arrive
Standing under the bridge, borne on the waves
We'll always be looking for an answer
Episode 24 "Arakawa Gag Contest"
Man, this's fun.
Yeah, everyone's so enthusiastic.
I guess it only comes around once in a while.
Yeah, it's been a while.
The mayor's gotta be the best.
I think so too!
Really?
I was so surprised the first time I saw it!
It really is something.
The mayor climbs in a box, closes the flaps over himself, and ten seconds later...
a pretty boy in jeans climbs out! What an illusion trick!
Nice henshin, right?
It's moving.
Do it again!
I wanna see!
No-can-do. It's for special occasions.
All right, there he is.
I shall attempt an impersonation of Perry!
I don't like the smell of ships.
Sorry
Perv
There's nothing left for me but seppuku.
An impression! Here goes!
Caltrop!
Sorry
Ugly
And so I fall to earth...
I'll tell a battlefield joke.
Why are the rations this terrible?
It's to get us to fight harder and finish this war so we can go home and eat mom's cooking again.
Wait, the food here's tastier than mom's cooking.
The next day, he never came back from the front lines.
Sorry
Flake
Star here singing for you! Next time, 4 Bridge!
You're there when I get up, there at lunch, there when it's time for bed
That's a happy day for me, that you live in that world. A golden world for me!
Illustration: Yuto